


Carry on

by Gabriel4Sam



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Clone learning the world, Despite the tags this fic is quite fluffy for post revenge of the sith, M/M, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel4Sam/pseuds/Gabriel4Sam
Summary: Cody remembers Obi-Wan and the day of Order 66, but he choses to carry on
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 125





	Carry on

Cody remembers Obi-Wan on a space station, just at the beginning of the night shift. For a moment, it seems the pain will break him. And not only emotionally: his heart is determined to beat itself out of his chest, his stomach is revolting, his skin is clammy, and his guts are tying themselves into knots.

For a moment, Cody thinks of not carrying on without the man he loved until Order 66 put his soul offline. He doesn’t think about blasting his brain out alone in his bunk, no, but he thinks of going to the machine rooms and taking the entire ship with him in an explosion worthy of the Team, or to arrive on the bridge and kill the Grand Moff they are transporting to their new posting.

For a moment, he thinks of revenge, and the sweet oblivion of death and the desire for an end is so intense he can taste it on the tip of his tongue, the moment he will spat blood and his last breath.

But he doesn’t. He simply takes his shift hours later, and when they disembark the Grand Moff in the Outer Rim, quietly slips out and loses himself on a planet which name he doesn’t even care. He doesn’t care where his feet upon its foreign ground take him only that it’s away from slavery.

Little by little, Cody learns that he can carry on, despite the ghosts roaming his brain. Despite the memory of Obi-Wan’s body falling in that fourth-damn canyon and despite his brothers lost free will and not knowing what happened to so many friends.

He doesn’t search for the Rebel Alliance. It’s still a burgeoning movement, and he could help build something, but he knows himself too raw yet. He knows his first engagement against the Empire would be the last one.

Cody build himself up, pieces after pieces. He finds a job, for an herbal tea vendor in the market, and doesn’t smile when thinking how Obi-Wan would find that hilarious, since Cody always classified his own beloved teas as dirty water. After a time, the former Commander even develops a taste for some of them. But only some of them.

Cody carries on. He learns who he is. Not the Commander, not the vode, not Obi-Wan’s lover, or Rex’s friend, or the older brother, or the soldier, or the warrior.

He learns who Cody is.

Cody loves the scent of spring on his new world and hates rain.

Cody loves shellfish but has no particular taste for meat, whatever the animal.

Cody falls asleep when he tries to read poetry, but can watches dozen of not-so different plots in Rhodian soap operas without getting bored.

Cody adopts a little singing lizard with blue scales and a missing leg, which he rescues one day of a band of little miscreants in the market.

Cody learns gardening of his old landlady, a charming Mon Calamari.

Cody, twice a month, authorizes himself two drinks, no more, at a local cantina, and sometimes he even lets people picks him up. Whoever tries that night and is aesthetically pleasing. He learns that he loves all sort of gender and species and that what Obi-Wan and him explored was only scratching the surface. He refuses to feel guilty. If he was dead and Obi-Wan alive, he would wish for him to move one.

Exactly four years after arriving on the planet, Cody packs his belongings and his lizard and goes in search of the Rebel Alliance.

He has learnt that he can live without war. He has also learnt that he can’t live letting the Empire grows more every day.

He has learnt more about Cody. He has learnt that Cody can stand on his own. That Cody can carry on without Obi-Wan and build a life. That he isn’t just a half, a lover, a missing piece. He’s a human being, no matters how unorthodox his birth.

Of course, the first person he sees in the freshly founded Alliance HQ, when he arrives with Rex, Gregor and Wolffe, is Obi-Wan, greyer, more tired, something he didn’t think possible, but very, very much alive.

Cody almost goes back up that ramp and into the ship.

But he’s strong and is own person. If he can carry on thinking he killed Obi-Wan, he can do too, if Obi-Wan doesn’t like that new person he discovered inside himself. And if Obi-Wan does, they can learn together who they are in this new world, not a General and his Commander, but two rebels, simply two men.

Cody descends from the ship and carry on.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr, under the same username, come and say hi!


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